人际相处的基本顺序：不要搞反了，否则关系早晚破裂
<section style="margin-bottom: 8px; outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-wrap: wrap; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); visibility: visible; text-align: center;"></section><p></p><section style="margin-bottom: 25px;outline: 0px;font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;text-wrap: wrap;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);line-height: 25.6px;border-width: 0px;border-style: none;border-color: initial;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);text-align: center;visibility: visible;"><section data-width="100%" style="outline: 0px;display: inline-block;width: 556.22px;vertical-align: top;border-width: 1px 4px 4px 1px;border-radius: 0px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(62, 62, 63);visibility: visible;"><section style="margin: 15px;outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"><p style="outline: 0px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-size: 15px;outline: 0px;letter-spacing: 0.578px;">没有永远的敌人，只有永远的利益。</span></p></section></section></section><p></p><p></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">波兰作家莱蒙特说：一切事物都是有顺序的，如果没有顺序，那就会出错。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">就像一件精美的艺术品，需要先设计后雕琢；一幅好的山水画，需要先勾勒后填墨。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">人与人之间的交往，同样也讲究一定的序位。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">如果社交的顺序搞反了，就会产生很多麻烦，甚至导致关系破裂。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">在这世上，无论与谁相处，都不能乱了顺序。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="90386" data-color="rgb(216, 40, 33)" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;text-wrap: wrap;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;text-align: start;font-size: 16px;line-height: 25.6px;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section data-width="100%" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto;outline: 0px;font-size: 14px;"><section data-wxsrc=" style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;width: 45px;height: 45px;background-image: url( 100%;background-repeat: no-repeat;"><section style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;text-align: center;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 700;line-height: 45px;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section style="margin: 8px 8px 0em;outline: 0px;border-width: 0px;border-style: initial;border-color: initial;">01</section></section></section></article></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><br style="outline: 0px;font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;text-wrap: wrap;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(123, 12, 0);"><strong><span style="color: rgb(123, 12, 0);font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">先了解，再交心</span></strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">马未都曾在书中讲过一个故事。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">一位女生，刚参加工作就认识了一位大姐，对她照顾有加。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">她自然也对大姐深信不疑，无话不说。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">自己的恋爱史，曾经的糗事，甚至对同事、领导的看法，她都告诉了大姐。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">到了年底职位评优时，两人有了竞争关系，她昔日的话语自然成了对方攻击她的武器。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">古语有言：<span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><strong>世间海水知深浅，唯有人心难忖量。</strong></span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">与人初相识，话只说三分，不可全抛一片心。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">你内心的伤痕，到了别人那里或许成了饭后的谈资；</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">你无心的言论，日后或许就成为别人攻击你的证据。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">交浅言深，君子所戒。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">先了解其为人，再考虑话说几分。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">始终遵循一个合理的顺序，才能不辜负他人，亦不伤害自己。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="90386" data-color="rgb(216, 40, 33)" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;text-wrap: wrap;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;text-align: start;font-size: 16px;line-height: 25.6px;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section data-width="100%" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto;outline: 0px;font-size: 14px;"><section data-wxsrc=" style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;width: 45px;height: 45px;background-image: url( 100%;background-repeat: no-repeat;"><section style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;text-align: center;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 700;line-height: 45px;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section style="margin: 8px 8px 0em;outline: 0px;border-width: 0px;border-style: initial;border-color: initial;">02</section></section></section></article></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><br style="outline: 0px;font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;text-wrap: wrap;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(123, 12, 0);"><strong><span style="color: rgb(123, 12, 0);font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">先倾听，再表达</span></strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩童问：为何寺院里佛像的耳朵都很大，嘴巴却很小？</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">智者答：因为佛家人懂得，倾听比表达更为重要。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">细品确实如此。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">很多时候，你说得越多，别人越听不进去，甚至越反感。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">但当你给到别人更多时间去表达他们自己的所思，所想，所感时，你就已经获得了别人的好感。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">《蔡康永的说话之道》中讲过一个故事。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">节目组要采访一个老人，但老人很难缠，一直不肯配合采访。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">蔡康永来到老人家中，没有提采访的事情，也没有说节目组的要求。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">只是陪老人聊聊天，听老人讲自己的光辉历史。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">说刻骨铭心的往事时，他身体前倾，目光和煦，时刻关注老人的眼神。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">随着老人的情感冲浪而起伏，老人高兴，他报以微笑，老人悲哀，他垂下眼帘，老人久久沉默，他也缄口不语……</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">老人话说完，蔡康永才提及采访的事情。没想到一向固执的老人，立刻就同意了拍摄。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">有一句话说：<span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><strong>只有很好地倾听别人的，才能更好地说出自己的。</strong></span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">如果你有求于人，那就先学会倾听。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">这个过程，会迅速拉近你与他人之间的距离。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">一旦别人觉得跟你相处很舒服，许多事情，自然就可以迎刃而解。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="90386" data-color="rgb(216, 40, 33)" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;text-wrap: wrap;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;text-align: start;font-size: 16px;line-height: 25.6px;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section data-width="100%" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto;outline: 0px;font-size: 14px;"><section data-wxsrc=" style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;width: 45px;height: 45px;background-image: url( 100%;background-repeat: no-repeat;"><section style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;text-align: center;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 700;line-height: 45px;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section style="margin: 8px 8px 0em;outline: 0px;border-width: 0px;border-style: initial;border-color: initial;">03</section></section></section></article></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><br style="outline: 0px;font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;text-wrap: wrap;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(123, 12, 0);">先升值，再混圈</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">作家连岳讲过一个观点：<span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><strong>社交最后都得回归个人价值。</strong></span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">但很多人看不透这点。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">他们苦心经营各种关系，最后有事相求别人时却吃到了许多闭门羹。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">所以，在你的价值未建立之前，不要浪费精力在圈子上，若自身没有交换价值，一切社交都是无效的。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">沈从文年轻时报考燕京大学未被录取，又没有经济来源，只能在北京大学旁听。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">他很想和那些文艺青年拉近关系，经常以朋友的事为先，对别人的要求有求必应，聚会活动也是随叫随到。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">可当他迟迟拿不出像样的作品，落魄到没钱吃饭时，奚落他的，也正是他费心取悦的那些人。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">后来他的文章终于在《晨报》上刊发，得到徐志摩的赏识。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">徐志摩又将他举荐给胡适，他得以被推荐去当了国立青岛大学的讲师。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">随着名气变大，沈从文也慢慢结交到了很多文坛上的重量级朋友。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">我们常说的人脉，其实是一场旗鼓相当的利益交换，你有本事为别人撑伞遮雨，别人自会为你铺路架桥。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">正确的交友逻辑，是先升值自己，再吸引人脉。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">人脉如网，只有把自己**强大了，网才能越织越广，越织越牢。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="90386" data-color="rgb(216, 40, 33)" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;text-wrap: wrap;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;text-align: start;font-size: 16px;line-height: 25.6px;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section data-width="100%" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto;outline: 0px;font-size: 14px;"><section data-wxsrc=" style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;width: 45px;height: 45px;background-image: url( 100%;background-repeat: no-repeat;"><section style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;text-align: center;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 700;line-height: 45px;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section style="margin: 8px 8px 0em;outline: 0px;border-width: 0px;border-style: initial;border-color: initial;">04</section></section></section></article></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><br style="outline: 0px;font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;text-wrap: wrap;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(123, 12, 0);"><strong><span style="color: rgb(123, 12, 0);font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">先筛选，再靠近</span></strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">财经作家何宇在北京工作时，经朋友介绍，他结识了一位同校学弟。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">了解到学弟没有工作，还内推他到自己上班的地方工作。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">可入职后，学弟热衷社交，工作整日摸鱼。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">何宇多次劝他上进，学弟却不以为意，仍旧我行我素。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">眼看学弟不能完成考核，何宇还特地留在公司帮他，回头一看，学弟却在偷偷打游戏。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">最终，学弟还是被公司辞退，领导也对何宇多有怨言。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">几年后，何宇在北京开了一家自己的公司，那位学弟想到他公司上班。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">何宇想到之前对他的“无效改造”，二话不说就拒绝了。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">查理·芒格说：<span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><strong>人们常常埋怨对方不肯变好，却很少反思自己挑人的眼光不行。</strong></span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">有些人你一开始选错了，无论再怎么努力，都无法让他变成对的人。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">与其费力改变，不如建立起自己的一套筛选规则。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">把合适的人从人群中筛选出来，远胜于把不合适的人改造好。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="90386" data-color="rgb(216, 40, 33)" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;text-wrap: wrap;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;text-align: start;font-size: 16px;line-height: 25.6px;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section data-width="100%" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin-bottom: 0em;outline: 0px;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto;outline: 0px;font-size: 14px;"><section data-wxsrc=" style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;width: 45px;height: 45px;background-image: url( 100%;background-repeat: no-repeat;"><section style="margin-right: auto;margin-bottom: 0em;margin-left: auto;outline: 0px;text-align: center;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 700;line-height: 45px;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><section style="margin: 8px 8px 0em;outline: 0px;border-width: 0px;border-style: initial;border-color: initial;">05</section></section></section></article></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 8px;outline: 0px;"><br style="outline: 0px;font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;text-wrap: wrap;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(123, 12, 0);">先小人，后君子</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">作家吴军在《格局》一书中说：避免合作型关系破裂最有效的方法，就是将丑话说在前面。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">没有永远的朋友，也没有永远的敌人，只有永远的利益。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">所谓亲兄弟，明算账。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">与人交往凡是牵扯到利益问题，我们都应该“先小人后君子”。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">去年我们家店铺翻修，父亲把所有东西都承包给了我的一个表弟。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">因为父亲原本就了解过行情，知道大概价格，再加上亲戚关系，就没有谈论费用。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">没想到装修结束后，费用比预算高出一倍还多，表弟还耍无赖说用的都是最好的材料。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">父亲从别人口中得知表弟在中间捞了好处，碍于情面，只能吃了这次哑巴亏。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">其实如果一开始就澄清利益关系，白纸黑字签上合同，后续也不会出现这样的问题。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">所以说，和任何人相处，都要“先小人”，“后君子。”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">先小人，就是先把利益得失讲清楚，一是一，二是二，不给双方留下可以钻的“空子”；</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">后君子，就是在谈好利益问题之后，再谈情谊。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">把丑话说在前，永远好过把麻烦留在后。</span></strong></span><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 16px 8px;"><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;font-size: 11px;">▽</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">心理学家阿德勒说：“人的一切烦恼，皆源于人际关系。”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">关系一旦颠倒或错乱，生活就会失序，烦恼与问题也就接踵而来。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br/></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">遵循这五个人际相处的基本顺序，你才能经营好舒适自在的关系。</span></section><p></p><p><br/></p><link rel="stylesheet" href="// id="wcn_editor_css"/> 终身学习者 别人都是奸商，要小心。 先小人后君子 理财规划师 先小人后君子 利益说清楚，情谊再来。 别人说的没错啊，谈钱伤感情，所以“先小人后君子”是最明智的选择。不过有时候，即使澄清利益关系也难免会出现矛盾，毕竟人心难测嘛。 stringByAppending马虎起见，\(>\_<)✂ 没错！得利益第一，不要贪图一时的情分而让自己吃亏。合作还是要理性多一点，小人点在前头真的省了不少事。记住，先算清楚账再谈感情，不能感情用事啊。有时候看透人性，避免潜在矛盾，也是照顾自己的一种方式。😏 利益问题确实很重要，澄清关系可以避免不必要的麻烦。先小人后君子有点拗口，但管用。记得曾有个合作对象撕破脸皮后才意识到不得不明朗，否则早早找上门「呵呵」。
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